What Do I Do To Be More Confident?

15 December 2019 by
Self-confidence Self-confidence
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The whole process started with the development of my current adopted dog, Foxy.


The only thing we know about his past is that he used to be a stray dog before. He was afraid of humans and all noises at the beginning so I tried to help him not to be frightened of the wind too.  And as dogs reflect their owners` feelings, to make things sure, I started to work on my own development as well. After ten months of hard work I would be lying if I said that he went through a complete change, but he did improve a lot, and so did I during the research and the many practices.


Regarding my dog I have read completely contradictory things about the different methods. For example that we should avoid stressful situations, but the next advice was to face them. In his case turning these situations into positive experiences by using treats turned to be useful, while in mine doing what I was afraid of worked well. Of course I mean the acts which aren`t dangerous and when thinking with a clear mind we know that we have no reason to be afraid of, but for some reason we are still scared to take the first step. It was also a very good tip to imagine the worst case scenario in that particular situation, and then the panic feeling disappears. Sometimes it worked, but my method was simpler.


At first I started with small things, and I tried to turn new activities into habits. I wrote on a list to do something every day that I had never done before, but I wanted to try. For example I cooked according to a new recipe, I was walking in new places with my dog or I visited new cafes for weeks. Then I took a bigger step.


Starting to write a blog caused great fear. What will others think? What happens if somebody won`t like it? What if they laugh at me? According to a survey most people are more afraid of acting in public than of death. I can attest to that. I imagined the worst things that could happen, but finally scare disappeared by action. Starting a blog, the courage and overcoming my fears was a euphoric feeling.


'Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.' (Mark Twain)


I included regular exercises in my daily routine. We went running every Sunday, on Saturdays I trained on my own, and when the cold days came I did gymnastics at home. It wasn`t that big a novelty for me, it has been a part of my life for years, just earlier I had more breaks in it.


I introduced the morning self-time. I was able to fit in 45 minutes besides family and work, but it was more than enough for a peaceful reading and having a coffee. It was worth getting up a little bit earlier because of this, on the whole I felt much better that day.


To be honest I could not keep all methods which are thought to be good. For example in the mornings I should have meditated, but I haven`t allocated time for it, I still have to develop in this. I haven`t made a positive characteristics list about me either, and I haven`t said regularly that `I love myself`. I did it occasionally in anxious moments and I truly felt better after that.


On the whole, after trying several methods I`ve realised that we must act against our fears in any case. It wasn`t good to go for a walk with Foxy when he was afraid of noises and unknown people, and I was afraid of new situations, as there is a basic confidence that we need to be brave enough to start activities which we will benefit from and thus we can live a happier life.



(The Hungarian translation is available on www.onbizalomfejlesztes.hu .)

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